Vibrations and Poison
by Akira Yama
Summary: Fuji suddenly leaves Ryoma without an excuse and leaves him heart broken and both unable to deal with their heart aches. Now rated M. Yaoi / FujiRyo / some MomoRyo / by the EssanceofSadness... AkiraYama.
1. Chapter 1: Agonized

**Nya me again and I hope this story's gonna knock the emotions outta ya!**

**Soon I'm gonna be needin' a beta so if anyone wants the job... I'll be ad-ing (goth I crack myself up!) in another story or too**

**Oh and also, there is soooo much more to come so don't worry!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the god of all yaoi fanfics Prince of Tennis!**

* * *

Ryoma stood in a dark room; the only light was coming from around the shadow of a man in the doorway. Ryoma's usual smirk was replaced with a tear filled gaze, confusion and hurt plastered on his usually arrogant face.

"W-what? Why?" His voice trembled as he desperately attempted to keep from crying. Fuji simply looked away, not a word leaving his lips. "Y-you don't have to-."

"G-good-bye Ryoma," Fuji interrupted, emotionless. "I doubt we'll ever cross paths such as we had again."

He shut the door, leaving his ex-lover alone in the darkness. Tears fell from Ryoma's eyes as he stared at the door, begging for it to open again and Fuji to have just been playing a sick joke on him. His knees hit the floor as he slowly realized… Fuji was never coming back.

_Please don't leave… F-Fuji I-I'll do anything to have you back… please just open th-the door… please…………._

* * *

Fuji stood, leaning against the wall near the front door, breathing deeply, shaken, his heart racing painfully in his chest. _Oh Ryoma… in time I… this is what's best… you'll be happier this way._ Fuji thought, tears hanging in his eyes; regret coursed through him as though it were poison in his blood stream.

His thoughts were more to convince himself than anyone else. He knew he wouldn't be able to live without seeing Ryoma's cocky expression or without the sound of his voice ringing in his ears as he spoke; with arrogance no less… or with love.

How he had forced himself not to run back in and take back everything he said. How he did want to go against destiny and be with the black haired prodigy. How he had fallen in love with him. Fuji's heart had shattered as soon as those fatal words had left his lips.

_I can't stay with you... I'm sorry, but I have to do this... I'm leaving you Ryoma._

Regret coursed through his blood, but torture vibrantly race through his mortal soul like standing in front of a speaker with music blasting, making his body vibrate… Torture vibrated his conscience as well as his soul as he thought of never seeing his beloved again.

_This is for the best, _he thought, trying to reassure himself. _This is for the best. Ryoma will be a lot happier this way. This is for the best. _He repeated over and over again, trying to calm the regret and pain.

"This is- th-this is-." Tears flooded out of Fuji's eyes as he tried to speak, but he found himself running from the Echizen home, covering his face with his hands as he came to a stop several blocks away.

"Oh, Ryoma, what have I done?"

* * *

**AkiraYama here and I'm writing another sadening story and yes it's short, but hell there is soo much more to come... rated T for now, but you just wait... yeah that's right Insert Evil Laugh Here**


	2. Chapter 2: Bleeding Fate

Ryoma tried to be as smug as possible, not wanting to let others know he was torn apart on the inside. The very presence of Fuji mad him feel as though his heart had been torn from his body. Leaving him bleeding with not only blood, but pain... deprivement... wishes of death...

He glanced at Fuji from the tennis courts and smothered a sigh. _Why torture me like this? _Ryoma thought bitterly. _You sadistic lil'…._

"Ryoma are you okay?" Momo asked as a sudden change of expression showed up on the younger boys face… was it confusion? Anger? Deprivement?

"I'm fine!" Ryoma snapped before returning his expression back to cocky. "Why do you have to be so trivial?" His voice going from sharp to smug.

Momo rolled his eyes, knowing he was lying, but refused to push further.

* * *

Eiji cocked his head at Fuji's empty expression. He jumped in front of him, surprising Fuji, making him pause. "You're depressed." Eiji stated with a pout on his face. "Why Fujiko depressed?"

"It's nothing." Fuji said with an empty tone.

"Nya! No it's not! It's something and Fujiko's gonna tell me." Eiji stated with out questioning in his voice. He was demanding the truth.

"I'm just a little… under the weather." Fuji said not meeting Eiji's wide eyes.

"Liar, liar! Tell me the truth!" Eiji demanded again.

"Sah, it's- well- alright- I am depressed, but that's because-." Praying for someone to call his name he tried to stall. As he wished, Tezuka called his name.

"Gotta go!" Fuji said, relief in his voice, as he ran to meet his buchou.

**Two weeks later**

"Hey, have you seen Ryoma? He like just disappeared." Oishi asked, concern in his tone.

"He shows up for classes, but then just disappears." Momo replied, equal concern in his voice.

"Nya, rumors are flyin' 'round that he quit." Eiji stated, mid-handstand.

"That's just a rumor." Kaido said, in a low voice after hissing

"I think Fujiko knows! Nya, they were, ya know, an item." Eiji said pointing, as he put his feet to the ground, at the back of the brunette genius walking away.

"Let's go tackle him!" Momo said charging as everyone got sweat drops on their head as they watched his tackle Fuji to the ground.

"Only Momo would be that idiotic." Kaido said before walking in the other direction.

"Um, Momo don't hurt him!" Oishi called as he chased after him, followed by Eiji.

Momo sat on his sempai's back, pinning him to the ground.

"Do you want something?" Fuji asked as though he were standing up without the 8th year on him.

"Yeah we know you know where Echizen is and we know that if you want to get up… you'll tell us." Momo negotiated as Eiji and Oishi arrived.

"I actually do not know what happened to him." Fuji stated trying to ignore the throb in his chest at the sound of his once (and still) beloved's name.

"Nya, Fuji, don't lie. You two were so closey close! Ochibi would tell you anything!" Eiji said, jumping up and down in frustration. "Now spill!"

"I honestly don't know." Fuji said as he tried to get up.

"Come on Fujiko!" Eiji pleaded.

"I don't know anything!" Fuji shouted, flustered and annoyed. "I broke up with him two weeks ago!"

A group gasp sounded from the interrogation squad at Fuji's confession. "Why? Ryoma loved you and you loved him… why would you do something like that?" Momo asked, still pinning his sempai down

"That's none of your concern!" Fuji nearly snapped as he continued to try and get off the ground.

"Oh no, you aren't getting up until we find out what we want to know!" Momo stated, pushing on Fuji's back.

"Su, ya know Ochibi confided something in me… and I think you should know something…." Eiji said, looking away from the three of them.

"What?" Fuji asked, moving his arms so he could rest his chin on them instead of concrete.

"Whelp, uh, ya'll have ta promise not to say _anything _to _anyone._ Okay, nya?" Eiji stated looking at each one. Each one nodded (Fuji, doing the best he could). "Whelp, uh, Ochibi said that he, uh- well we were listenin' to this song and well he said that the song matched his feeling for Fujiko. He said, 'the part of the lyrics where it says, 'I've fallen helplessly in love with you,' well that's me, I've fallen helplessly in love with Fuji, and I'm glad.'" Eiji repeated Ryoma's statment, word for word, even trying to copy the freshman's monotone voice.

Momo and Oishi's jaws dropped, but Fuji had covered his eyes with his arms. Momo could tell he was crying because he could feel him shaking."

Eiji looked away, feeling bad for making his friend cry, but not regretting telling him the secret. Momo finally stood up and helped Fuji stand, still covering his face as he cried painful tears of regret.

"What have I done…?" Fuji said before taking off towards the streets, escaping further questioning… and stares.

* * *

Ryoma laid in his room, lights off, eyes closed. He had begun doing this since… two days after his heart had been broken. He couldn't look at Fuji so he stopped going to practices and was deciding on quitting the tennis team.

Tears were burning his eyes and he had begun this ritual as soon as he got home, each and everyday. He'd lie in his room for hours, remembering painfully what he and Fuji would do when it was just them.

Tears began to fall from his eyes. He hated how his life was slowly falling apart. He couldn't focus on anything… pain was surging through him and he just couldn't stay focused and simply succumbed to it. _Maybe fate had this in mind. Maybe I was never meant to stay with Fuji… maybe I was meant to suffer._ He thought bitterly.

_Well, fate can't control the aspects of me if I'm dead…………._

* * *

**Ahem! I know aloties of yas are reading, but your not reviewin', nya! That makes me saddies... If you review then you can have the next chapter... and an explanation to the whole essence of saddness thing... sorry to those of you who've asked and I didn't reply.**

**So yes please do some RandR (not relaxation and recreation, but Read and Reviewin'!!)**

**Yours trulies and foreva! mores**

**Akira-chan aka EssenceofSadness**


	3. Chapter 3: Burned Alive

**HERE IT IS CHAPTER THREE and I've changed the rating from T to M for language and suggested sexual tension... tee hee hee hee hee, plus it get's more yaoilicious from here on out! Yes, read the fanfic and enjoy!**

**Sorry for keeping you waiting, but I was getting suggestions from people who review!**

**And here it is:**

Ryoma walked down the halls to his next class. However, unbeknownst to him he was being followed.

Ryoma turned a corner and felt someone yank him by his uniforms' collar and soon found himself being shoved into a wall next to the science lab. He looked up to see Momo pinning him to the wall.

"What are you doing? We're going to be-." However, Ryoma was interrupted by the bell ringing for their third class to start.

Ryoma fought to release himself from Momo's grip, but soon found his sempai pressing his body against his.

"What are you doing?" Ryoma asked, still trying to sound smug even though he was starting to feel fearful. The look in Momo's eye's- it was possessive and threatening… and… full of… lust. IT took everything Ryoma had to try and not shake. His breathing was growing rapid and uneven.

"What did you ever see in that- that sadist?" Momo asked, his voice a low whisper… it made Ryoma finally succumb to his fear and he began to shake.

"W-w-what are you-?"

"I know Fuji dumped you." Momo snapped, is voice still low and… dangerous.

Ryoma's fear swirled and abruptly changed to deep overpowering sadness. He felt his eyes burning as soon as Momo uttered his still beloved's name. His heart throbbed painfully with every shaken breath… he was still scared, but he was more deprived and miserable.

"Why? Why did you ever go out with him in the first place?" Momo pressed, not only interrogating, but his body to Ryoma's. "What did you honestly see in that sadistic bastard?"

Ryoma turned his eyes away from the frightening violet ones in front of him. He looked to the floor, not wanting to utter a word… afraid of breaking down right there.

"You know why he did it, don't you?" Momo said, his eyes no longer lustful and threatening, but now arrogant… a smirk on his face. "He knew how much pain you'd be in so he simply dumped you without a given explanation… just to watch you suffer."

"Don't say that!" Ryoma snapped, but he knew at this point he couldn't look threatening, especially since tears were hung in his eyes. He looked almost pitiful as he tried to protect the one he still loved, even though he was to shaken by Momo's sudden change in behavior.

This was the first time he'd seen Momo like this. He was pressing his lower body against Ryoma's and he was suddenly arrogant. He was cocky, but still possessive and dangerously frightening. Ryoma was afraid of setting something off. He suddenly realized Momo was capable of seriously… _hurting _him.

"Don't say what? The truth? I bet he's laughing to himself, pleasurably at how pathetic you've become. He never really loved you, he just wanted to watch you suffer miserably by breaking you heart." Momo's words stung, making Ryoma shake and slowly begin to cry.

Tears poured painfully from his amber eyes, making it feel as though his heart was bleeding from the pain.

"S-stop, s-s-saying st-." Ryoma tried to speak, but his lip trembled, making it difficult to speak at all. He was interrupted by the short, somehow icy sound of Momo's snickering.

"You know, you're kinda cute like this. All helpless and pitiful." Momo said lifting Ryoma's chin, making him look up at him. "A lot better than your usual cocky attitude."

Ryoma swallowed. Momo leaned in, claiming the helpless kohai's mouth with his own. He shoved his tongue through Ryoma's resistant lips. Ryoma whimpered, trying not to anger the taller boy by screaming for help.

Tears continued to flood from his closed eyes as he wished Fuji were there to save him.

_Fuji, please help me. Please I-I don't like this. Help, please. Please, I need you…._

The door to the science lab opened, but that didn't stop Momo. He didn't even bother to see if was even a teacher. However, a voice did make him pause, pulling his lips away from Ryoma's slightly.

"R-Ryoma?"

* * *

"R-Ryoma?" Fuji asked as he looked at the sight in front of him. His heart pounded painfully in his chest and he could feel a burning in his eyes. What the fuck was going on?

"F-Fuji?" Ryoma said, relief in his still shaken voice as he looked at the stunned brunette.

Fuji blinked, unable to contemplate what to do next. He swallowed, a new burning of jealousy raged through him almost like a fire burning him alive.

He swallowed again, closing his eyes. "Well obviously I interrupted something." Fuji said as he turned and walked down the hallway.

"Fuji!" Ryoma yelled after him, trying to shove Momo off of him. "Fuji, please wait! Fuji! Fuji!"

Fuji listened to Ryoma's voice echo down the hallway, but he didn't even look back. He didn't want to listen to Ryoma's excuse. Fuji could feel his heart turn to stone and slowly crumble into pieces. He knew he shouldn't have been heart broken, but he didn't want Ryoma to be anybody, but his. He still loved him dearly… he was in love with him.

Fuji could still here Ryoma's yelling. How he wanted to turn around and run to Ryoma, but he couldn't. Ryoma obviously wasn't to concerned with him so it didn't matter, right?

Tears fell one after another from his blues eyes as he stopped walking and began to shake violently.

_I don't care if it kills me. I will always love you._

* * *

The next day Eiji had dragged Ryoma to tennis practice. No one had told him of yesterday's incident so he didn't know why Ryoma was fighting against him so much.

Ryoma closed his eyes, not wanting to look at who was there today. When he finally did open his eyes he saw that neither Momo nor Fuji were there. Ryoma sighed in relief, but still didn't want to be there. He knew he was in for a real treat when Tezuka showed up.

Either way, Ryoma changed into his uniform, sliding the starters jacket on even though it was a bit warm outside.

...

After an hour Ryoma finished his assigned 110 laps, he was blazing hot in his jacket; sweat pulling his hair down flat on his head under his hat. Eiji took one look at him as he walked to the courts and started laughing.

"Nya-ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You look like a tomato!" Eiji said as Ryoma looked at him.

"Why don't you take of your jacket?" Inui sugested. "There is a 86 chance that you'll get heat stroke if you continue wearing it."

Ryoma nodded, but didn't remove his jacket. He was assigned to play against Kaido in a practice match. They walked to the court, Eiji being referee.

...

Thirt minutes into the game and Ryoma was struggling. As he reached another Snake he suddenly became blind. Everything went black and soon he felt his body hit the ground. He tried to open his eyes, but he was borderlind conscious and unconscious.

He could barely hear Eiji yelling for help, it was like a faint cry. He could feel them grabbing his arms, but it was like a light touch... just barely there.

"Take his jacket off." Was the last thing he hear before finally fainting.

...

Eiji's eyes widened as he looked at the slash marks on Ryoma's wrists. They went from his wrists to his elbow and some were as old as two-three weeks ago to possibly that morning. Momo, who had shown up in time to see the last ten minutes of Ryoma's game, gasped. They all looked at the limp form of the freshman, stunned that Ryoma would resort to something like... this.

"Someone get him to the infermery." Tezuka said in his monotone voice.

"I'll do it." Momo said eagerly... almost too eagerly.

"I'll go with him, nya!" Eiji said, suspecting something... off.

Hours later Ryoma finally came to. He opened his eyes and came face to face with Momo's. Ryoma shot back into the headboard, suddenly frightened. He had been lying in one of the beds in the infermery; had Momo taken any chances?

"Nya he's awake! He's awake!" Eiji said as he jumped from his seat behind Momo.

Ryoma couldn't help, but sigh in relief. _Thak you, Eiji._ He thought calmly.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure you'd wake up, but now I gotta get home." Momo said as he grabbed his bag and left, waving good-bye. Eiji smiled and waved back, but Ryoma didn't do anything.

"Okay, nya, now tell me what were ya thinking?" Eiji said as he glared at Ryoma. "Why would ya do sommethin' like that? You know how dangerous that is?"

Ryoma, not ralizing his short sleeves, shrugged. "Sorry, I'll take my jacket off next time."

"Oh! That's not what I meant!" Eiji grabed Ryoma's wrists and raised them to his eyes. "Why would you do _this _to yourself?"

Ryoma looked from Eiji to the slashes on his arms. He swallowed. "I don't know. I just did it." Ryoma stated as Eiji through his wrists back down.

"Well, you better stop!"

"I-I will, I will." Ryoma promised. "Hey Eiji? Can I ask you a hypothetical question?"

Eiji shrugged. "Yuppers, nya!"

"Hypothetically, what would you do if I told you I was planning on committing suicide?"

Eiji's jaw dropped. "What?! You're think about that too?! Ryoma-!"

"I was asking hypothetically. I wasn't planning on it." Ryoma said, smiling, waving one hand as to dismiss his question. His other hand, however, was behind his back, his index and middle finger intwined around each other.

Liar...

**Akira-san here ands I'd like to summit and apology to all Momoshiro fans. I love him too, but I thought I whouldmake him EVIL for once. Sorry to offend anybody, didn't mean it!**

**And furtherly, an explaination to the EssanceofSadness... well ya see I have a friend and he visited my site and said I should change my username you the EssanceofSadness because I must add that to my fanfics because he started bawling. His boyfriend confirmed it by calling me and blaming me... So when you guys read this I'd like to say, Sorry HH and DJ!**

**Hope you read and review!**

**Akira-san**


	4. Chapter 4: Goodbye, Ryoma Echizen

"…and that's how it happened." Eiji finished as he regaled Fuji with Ryoma's first… and apparently last day back at practice. Ryoma had decided not to show up the next day for practice when Fuji had returned. It was the day after that, that Eiji was jumping up and down, hands dancing as he told Fuji exactly what had happened.

"So Ryoma has been cutting himself…?" Fuji asked, trying to understand everything Eiji had poured into his brain. As he spoke you could clearly hear how worried he was. How regretful he truly was and how miserable the thought of his beloved hurting himself over all that had happened made him feel.

"Yeah, and when Momo volunteered to take him he was like really, really eager. I think Momo's up to something, Fuji." Eiji said, eyes wide, as he told his friend of his suspicions.

"Maybe… they're…" Fuji couldn't bring himself to say it. He sighed and tried again. "Maybe, they're… dating." He swallowed, his chest flaring as an image of what he had seen days earlier flashed into his head. Tears hung in his eyes; it stung to think of losing the chance to fix everything.

"I don't think so. I mean, when we waited for Ochibi to wake up, Momo practically, nya, devoured him with his eyes. Not to mention, when Ochibi woke up, and saw how close Momo was, he was really, like, _really _frightened. Then when he saw me and Momo left he was completely relieved, nya."

Fuji couldn't help but sigh in relief. _Thank god, I still have a chance to-._

"What Fujiko thinking about?" Eiji asked, leaning closer to Fuji.

"Oh, it's nothing." Fuji said looking away from the red head.

Eiji gasped. "You're thinking about getting back with Ochibi, aren't you?" Eiji started jumping up and down, excitedly. "I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! You still love him! I'm so right, aren't I? I am, I am, I am; I knew it!"

Fuji smiled nervously. "Heh, heh. Can't really deny anything with your attitude."

Eiji abruptly stopped, a worried expression on his face. It suddenly dawned on him that he hadn't seen Ryoma at all that day; not in the hall or anywhere. Then Ryoma's question rang in his head.

_What would you do if I committed suicide?_

"Oh no, oh no! Fujiko, I think Ochibi might-."

Fuji became worried with Eiji's behavior. It wasn't usual for the energetic red head to suddenly be _this _calm. "What? What about Ryoma?"

"Well, ya see, I sorta left something out." Eiji confessed, his energy still not returning.

Fuji's heart raced. His voice shook as he tried to speak. "Wh-what?"

"Well, it happened like this…………."

* * *

Ryoma sat, alone. It was dark, the only light barley coming from the windows leading to the sky clouding up. His parents were on vacations and he sat, even hit cat Kalpin wasn't with him. Only a small cup, the contents within...

...poison...

He had decided to end the pain of what fate had done to him was to make it so that fate could no longer control him. Not only, but he also knew that he couldn't go on one more day without Fuji being his.

He'd putting off the suicide attempt because he knew some people would miss him and he soon realized... it didn't matter.

Only one person could truly change his mind and that person had finally made his decision. When Fuji had simply walked away from him while Momo was hurting him... he knew... Fuji wouldn't miss him... much less care.

He swallowed, wanting to at least leave a note to tell those who _did_ care why he chose this path.

He sniffled, a tear fell from his eyes as he stood up and went to sit at his desk. He pulled out some paper and began to write:

... _To Those Who Will Honestly Miss Me, Good-bye and Farewell..._

* * *

Fuji sat in class fuming. As soon as Eiji had told him the rest of the story, he ran right to the gate. However as he was exiting he was pulled back and sent back to class. Fuji scowled at the desk, thinking of how it was always when it really counted that the gatekeeper was actually keeping the gate.

He sighed miserably. The bell was going to ring in twenty minutes and he knew that in that time...

... Ryoma may already be dead.

Fuji closed his eyes, trying to decide on other means of escape. He soon found himself asleep... after countless sleepless nights of pain and masochistic thoughts of how pain should be to those who deserve it... such as himself.

He soon found himself running into the Echizen home, running into Ryoma's room and finding him... dead, blood around his head, and his body ice cold.

Fuji knelt down, falling to he knees, beside his dead beloved. He lifted his limp form and held him tightly. Tears falling like rain drops in a thunder storm out of his burning eyes. "N-no R-R-Ryoma, p-p-please wak-k-ke up... Oh th-this is all my fault. I'm sorry Ryoma, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. Oh please Ryoma... Ryoma... Ry-"

A loud crash of thunder accompanying the bell and Fuji's head shot up as he awakened from his nightmare. He ran from his classroom and into the storm that had begun while he had been sleeping.

He ran through the pouring rain as thunder clashed over head and lightning flashed, brightening the dark sky. His shoes slipped every so often, but that didn't slow him down as he grew nearer and nearer to his destination... the Echizen house hold.

_Oh please still be alive, oh please... Ryoma, I'm coming for you._

* * *

Ryoma had relocated to the living room. He had placed the note on the table and wanted his corpse to be the first thing seen. He looked directly at the front door and shrugged. _Locking it won't help anything... side it's not my problem... at least not any more._

He sighed again, pain throbing his chest as he breathed amking tears come to his eyes. He liffted the cup to his lips. He swallowed and parted his lips slightly...

... _I'm sorry Fuji, but I can't go on like this... I still was in love with you and I'll probably still love you in death... good-bye, Fuji Syusuke._

A drop fell into his mouth just as...

"Ryoma!"

* * *

The door busted opened making him jump and sending the cup shattering to the ground just as Ryoma had almost barely taken a sip. "What?" Ryom turned to the door to see...

... Fuji... standing in the door, soaking wet, a shadow around him from the dark clouds and rain still continuing to fall continuously on him.

"F-Fuji...?" Tears fell painfully out of Ryoma's eyes, but soon it became more even... more as of relief... as he walked closer to the door, swallowing hard as he was uncertained... could it truly be?

Fuji walked in, meeting Ryoma and grabbing onto him and kissing him. Ryoma could feel how relieved Fuji was and how scared Fuji had been; the kiss was loving, but still tense and rough... as though... it would be their last one.

Ryoma pulled away and looked at the now tearful eyes of the brunette. Fuji held Ryoma close to him, tightly as if to say he was never letting him go again. Fuji's knees hit the ground, sending Ryoma down with him in the embrace.

"Oh Ryoma... I-I'm so so sorry... I should never have done that. I'm sorry... I know it's not enough, but p-please... I didn't know it would have hurt you this bad. Oh Ryoma... oh god if I- if I had known th-then I would never have broken up with you." Fuji's voice was shaken, scared and yet still... some what relieved.

Ryoma could feel both his and Fuji's hearts beating as he rested his head on his chest. He finally wrapped his arms around the small fit waist of his beloved, burrying his face in his firm muscular and comforting chest. "F-Fuji, why? Why did you leave? Why'd you break my heart?" Ryoma finally asked, suddenly realizing how wet Fuji really had gotten.

Fuji had had a reason, but now it seemed like the stupidest thing in the world. He swallowed, not uttering a word.

"That's all I'm asking for, Fuji. All I want is an explanation... and a promise."

Fuji sighed. "I was afraid that I would hurt you and my sadistic side would take over and I'd just... I'd just keep hurting you... a-and I didn't want that. So I thought if I left you then I wouldn't have hurt you, but I was so far off. I ended up causing you so much pain... so so much pain and you almost killed yourself over not have me. Not only you, but it killed me not having you... like this... in my arms, close to me. I'm so sorry for the foolish thing I've done, but R-Ryoma I was always still... in love with you."

Ryoma gasped slightly. How he'd wanted to hear those words leave Fuji's lips so many times. He looked up at the still sadened eyes of his beloved. "Oh Fuji, I was in love with you too a-and I'll forgive... as long as you promise me something."

"Anything." Fuji said without hesitation.

"Promise me your heart and that you'll never leave me again."

Fuji pressed his lips to Ryoma's, claiming them in a passionate kiss. "I promise."

* * *

**AkiraYama here and I have an announcement! I hate the number 4 with a burning passion the would defy the heat of a thousand suns so this is not the last chapter.**

**Chapter Five will be the suicide note and I'll post it... eh what the hell; I'll post it later today (since it's like after midnight). So until then... **

**HOPE YA LIKED IT!**

**Please review... I like it when people say stuffies about my stories... it makes me want to right my stuffies...**

**My next story... Silver Pair Yaoi! Woo HOO!**

**Akira-chan**


	5. Chapter 5: The Note of Sadness

**Well... techniqually it's later so I guess I might as well add this now and get it over with.**

**I hope you like it... The reason I don't mention the parents much is because I have forgotten what it's like to have a mom and I never knew my dad.**

* * *

_To Those Who Will Honestly Miss Me, Good-bye and Farewell:_

I'm sorry, but fate has been unbearably cruel to me by making me feel pain none of you can imagine. When my true love, Fuji Syusuke broke my heart, I knew that my life would be cut as well. So that is the reason I have taken what many call the regretful path, but it probably has eased my suffering.

_All I ask of you is please do not mourn me, but always think of me so I will not be alone. Simply think of me in happier more peaceful times. I tell you now, if there is a life after death, I will all watch over you and think so well and highly of you all. Yes even Fuji…._

_Now I'd like to thank one special person… my closest friend. Kikumaru Eiji, the one I confided in most. I told him my true feelings for Fuji and I'm sure he told him at one point. I don't blame him… Fuji did have a right to know. Eiji, you were jumpy- maybe way to jumpy- and over energetic, but hey that's what made you you. Don't _ever_ change._

_Before I go on I wish to bring to light a matter. Takeshi Momoshiro… I had always thought you to be my closest friend, but when you tried to… rape me that day I knew that I had betrusted the wrong person. I say this to bring to light a matter such should never happen to anyone… ever… again._

Now I'd like to say that Syusuke Fuji, I had begun loving you the first time I laid my eyes on you and besides you breaking my heart into pieces I thought our relationship was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I tell you now in writing that I truly had fallen helplessly in love with you… and I honestly can say I regret it now, but before obvious reasons, I was truly happy I had. Fuji I still am helplessly in love with you and I promise I will be after death… whether you love me at all or not once I'm gone.

_Thank you all for all the memories I will cherish. I love you all as friends, family, and lover. Mom and Dad do not cry over me for too long… besides this is how I wanted it. Good-bye and good luck with the rest of your lives…………._

_Good-bye,_

_Ryoma Echizen_


End file.
